The Legend of Fagrid
by Reaka
Summary: Rated R for sexual innuendo. A challenge from Reese Craven... Did you know Hagrid has a twin brother? His name is Fagrid, and this is his story.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned does not belong to me. Only Fagrid is mine.

Reaka: Hey there everyone! This is another challenge from the one and only...Reese Craven. She had challenged me to write the Legend of Fagrid, and I've been procrastinating until now. So here it is! I hope you enjoy it!

The Legend of Fagrid

You'd think that people would be proud that I, Fagrid Hagrid, am the first gay giant in over three hundred years!

But no! My mom had to disown me, my father payed attention to Rubeus more because he was the straight one. And Rubeus himself? I had actually considered brining the Fab 5 into the wizarding world to fix him up. It's a shame to actually call him my twin!

Well, before I actually waste more time complaining on my twin brother's perfection...yeah right, let me tell you about me, Fagrid! The star for once in my life!

Well, I'm older than Rubeus by a few days. It takes a while for us giants to get spit out of our mommies. They should've realized the first clue to my homosexuality...ooh that sounds so dirty...was the fact they gave me the name Fagrid Hagrid. Did they just like the fact that it rhymed or something? Hello! What were they thinking? Giving me a name like Fagrid...any straight giant would turn gay after hearing that name!

Back to the point! Haha...point. I'm just so dirty today!

Well, I knew I was gay for as long as I can remember. And it wasn't just the name that gave me away, let me tell you! It was just the men that lived around me! They all seemed so scrumptious! Too bad they were all so small though.

Well, one day, my father came home early from work with Rubeus along with him. Once they walked in the door, they found me sticking my tongue in the mouth of another boy! The two of them looked so shocked.

"What?" I asked them. "Never seen two men kiss before? It's only natural."

Father was a homophobe! So I get kicked out, and I start living on the streets. What kind of a cruel-hearted man would kick their poor, twelve-year-old, homosexual, half-giant son out of their home for being gay? My father! That's who! He was so mean to me! Rubeus knew about it for a while. If I can say anything nice about him right now, it would be that that bloke can keep a secret. I mean, oh my god! He's good at that. And taking care of the animals...

I'm getting off-topic again!

Well, I was a twelve-year-old boy living on the streets. My mother went missing after she gave birth to us, so that's why I never went to live with her. She was probably a homophobe as well. BUT! I found a way to live out on the streets. I was a prostitute.

Why are you people looking at me like that? I have no regrets on that! It was actually rather enjoyable! Except for when it came time to having sex. That was my trouble area.

You see, when I was kicked out, I'd only learned the art of tongue wrestling, so I didn't even know what sex for two males really was. Well, that all changed when a very drunk, but very cute, wizard came to my corner when I turned sixteen. He just turned around and pointed at his tight, cute, ass.

"Just stick it in there," he said. "I'll pay you after I'm satisfied."

Well, to make a long story short, and so my story doesn't get banned, I stuck it in. Later on, I learned his name...Tom...Tom Marvolo Riddle. There was no other like him! He was sweet, funny, and the tightest person I'd ever done! But maybe all of that was because he was so damn drunk.

But it wasn't. He came to my corner every night, and we had the best sex ever! It was amazing I didn't kill him with my stash! He was only human, after all, and I was half-giant! He had some real strength if he could handle Little Johnny going into his ass like that.

But then one night, he disappeared! I was so heart-broken when I didn't see him one night. I was eighteen at the time. And I was sad. The love of my life had disappeared from me. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to have the one that you can love forever just disappear on you like that? Do you? Do you?

I didn't see him again for thirty years.

When I did see him again, he looked different. For one, he was so much hotter than before! There were these red eyes of his that were just to DIE for! Oh my god! And...I was just standing there, stunned. He was even cuter than the last guy, Lucius Malfoy, that I did before he came back to me!

"My Fagrid," he said.

"Tom Riddle," I said back.

"I'm no longer that. You must now call me Voldemort. Come with me. Let's make beautiful music together."

"Let's take over the world together."

I took his hand, and we went off to the Death Eater's hideout. The Death Eaters stared at me, but Voldemort took my hand then raised it up for all to see.

"This is Fagrid Hagrid," he said. "He is my lover. You're all to treat him with as much respect as you do me. Understood?"

The Death Eaters nodded, and we went off to his bedroom. Because I don't want my story taken away, I'll tell you we just had more hot, erotic sex.

"That was amazing," I said.

"Oh, yes it was," Voldemort agreed. "There's something I need to tell you."

"What's that?"

"I'll be leaving in a few months."

"Why?"

"I have to take care of a little...problem."

"Are you cheating on me?"

"No, Fagrid. I would never do that. A boy by the name of Harry Potter is in our way for us to take over the world."

"So let's make our last, few months the best."

I don't think there was ever a day where we didn't have sex. It was the most exotic thing ever. We were both so orgasmic!

Well, that day came, and Voldemort left to kill the Potters. But he never came back! I was so heartbroken. I sat there and cried. The Death Eaters all disappeared, and I was left alone.

So I turned to my twin brother, Rubeus, for help.

He looked happy to see me after all these years. He told me all about how a wizard named Dumbledore let him live in Hogwarts after our father died. I secretly cheered when I heard that news. But when I told him my news, he kicked me out! So you know what I did? I ran in the forest.

I've been living here ever since. I stay out near my brother's hut and watch him teach his students. I noticed the Malfoy boy, who's just as hot as his father, and Harry. The man that killed my lover was there. But he was kind of cute as well...

Off topic!

So now I'm stuck here waiting for my Voldemort to come for me. I heard he was back, so I just need him to come and find me!

Now you're wondering why this is a legend. Am I right? Well, didn't you read the first sentence? I'm Fagrid Hagrid! I'm the first gay giant in three hundred years! Is there more to make this a legend or something?

You know what? Talk to the hand! I'm just leaving now! You go through all the trouble of listening to this, and now you're going to criticize me? Talk to my damn hand! This face ain't listening. Good-bye!

_Grawp looks on in confusion as the half-giant walks away from him. He scratches his head wondering what the hell it was the little, gay thing was talking about in the first place. Shrugging his massive shoulders, he laid back down to go back to sleep._

Reaka: There you go. Did you like it? Hate it? Let me know please! Thank you!


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